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I’m fat. I’m too skinny. I’d be happy if I were taller,
shorter, had curly hair, straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger muscles, longer
legs.
Do any of these statements sound familiar? Are you used to putting yourself
down? If so, you’re not alone. As a teen, you’re going through a ton of changes
in your body. And as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. Lots of
people have trouble adjusting, and this can affect their self-esteem.
Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?
Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel
in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important because
feeling good about yourself can affect how you act.A person who has high
self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior,
and will enjoy life more.
Body image is how a person feels about his or her own physical appearance.
For many people, especially people in their early teens, body image can be
closely linked to self-esteem. That’s because as kids develop into teens, they
care more about how others see them.
What Influences a Person’s Self-Esteem?
Puberty
Some teens struggle with their self-esteem when they begin puberty because the
body goes through many changes. These changes, combined with a natural desire to
feel accepted, mean it can be tempting for people to compare themselves to
others. They may compare themselves to the people around them or to actors and
celebs they see on TV, in movies, or in magazines.
But it’s impossible to compare ourselves to others because the changes that come
with puberty are different for everyone. Some people start developing early;
others are late bloomers. Some get a temporary layer of fat to prepare for a
growth spurt, others fill out permanently, and others feel like they stay skinny
no matter how much they eat. It all depends on how our genes have programmed our
bodies to act.
The changes that come with puberty can affect how both girls and guys feel about
themselves. Some girls may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about their
maturing bodies. Others may wish that they were developing faster. Girls may
feel pressure to be thin but guys may feel like they don’t look big or muscular
enough.
Outside Influences
It’s not just development that affect self-esteem, though. Lots of other factors
(like media images of skinny girls and bulked-up guys) can affect a person’s
body image too.
Family life can sometimes influence a person’s self-esteem. Some parents spend
more time criticizing their children and the way they look than praising them.
This criticism may reduce a person’s ability to develop good self-esteem.
People may also experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way
they look from classmates and peers. Sometimes racial and ethnic prejudice is
the source of such comments. Although these comments often come from ignorance
on the part of the person who makes them, sometimes they can affect a person’s
body image and self-esteem.
Healthy Self-Esteem
If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the way
you are. This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of growing
up, such as developing good friendships, growing more independent from your
parents, and challenging yourself physically and mentally. Developing these
parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem.
A positive, optimistic attitude can help people develop
strong self-esteem. For example, saying, “Hey, I’m human,” instead of “Wow, I’m
such a loser,” when you’ve made a mistake. Or not blaming others when things
don’t go as expected.
Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel
capable, strong, and in control of your life. A positive attitude and a healthy
lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great combination for
building good self-esteem.
Tips for Improving Your Body Image
Some people think they need to change how they look or act to feel good about
themselves. But actually all you need to do is change the way you see your body
and how you think about yourself.
The first thing to do is recognize that your body is your own, no matter what
shape, size, or color it comes in. If you are very worried about your weight or
size, check with your doctor to verify that things are OK. But it is no one’s
business but your own what your body is like — ultimately, you have to be happy
with yourself.
Next, identify which aspects of your appearance you can realistically change and
which you can’t. Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming celeb) has things about
themselves that they can’t change and need to accept — like their height, for
example, or their shoe size.
If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can (such as how
fit you are), do this by making goals for yourself. For example, if you want to
get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat nutritious foods. Then keep
track of your progress until you reach your goal. Meeting a challenge you set
for yourself is a great way to boost self-esteem!
When you hear negative comments coming from within yourself, tell yourself to
stop. Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments every
day. While you’re at it, every evening list three things in your day that really
gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt on your face,
the sound of your favorite band, or the way someone laughed at your jokes. By
focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you
can change how you feel about yourself.
Where Can I Go if I Need Help?
Sometimes low self-esteem and body image problems are too much to handle alone.
A few teens may become depressed, lose interest in activities or friends — and
even hurt themselves or resort to alcohol or drug abuse. If you’re feeling this
way, it can help to talk to a parent, coach, religious leader, guidance
counselor, therapist, or an adult friend. A trusted adult — someone who supports
you and doesn’t bring you down — can help you put your body image in perspective
and give you positive feedback about your body, your skills, and your abilities.
If you can’t turn to anyone you know, call a teen crisis hotline (check the
yellow pages under social services). The most important thing is to get help if
you feel like your body image and self-esteem are affecting your life.
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