Witty Funny Quotes From Joy Tonight

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Witty Funny Quotes

People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them, 'How do you think I got the job? -- Dick Cheney
I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality. -- George W. Bush
I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting. -- Mel Brooks
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. -- Douglas Adams
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. -- W.C. Fields
I can resist everything except temptation. -- Oscar Wilde
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. -- W.C. Fields
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. -- Somerset Maugham
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. -- Dale Carnegie
There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors. -- Jim Morrison

Habit is a form of exercise. -- Elbert Hubbard
Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs. -- Joey Adams
Let's have some new cliches. -- Samuel Goldwyn
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -- Samuel Goldwyn

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