All men hear is blah, blah,
blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
-- Dennis Leary |
There are only two kinds of
men - the dead and the deadly.
-- Helen Rowland |
Men think monogamy is
something you make dining tables out of.
-- Kathy Lette |
My ancestors wandered lost in
the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not
stop to ask for directions.
-- Elayne Boosler |
Don't let a man put anything
over on you except an umbrella.
-- Mae West |
Why did God create men?
Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
-- Madonna
Dangerous Game (1993) |
Women speak because they wish
to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something
outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
-- Jean Kerr |
A man in the house is worth
two in the street.
-- Mae West |
I love men, even though
they're lying, cheating scumbags.
-- Gwyneth Paltrow |
All men are not homeless, but
some men are home less than others.
-- Henry Youngman |
This guy says, 'I'm perfect
for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.'
I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'
-- Judy Tenuta |
If you never want to see a
man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have
children...' - they leave skid marks.
-- Rita Rudner |
To attract men, I wear a
perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
-- Rita Rudner |
I never hated a man enough to
give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor |
Women now have choices. They
can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with
children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always
had: work or prison.
-- Tim Allen |
I love the lines the men use
to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a
microwave?
-- Beverly Mickens |
Men can read maps better than
women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a
hundred miles.
-- Roseanne Barr |
When I eventually met Mr
Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
-- Rita Rudner |
My mom said the only reason
men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
-- Tim Allen |
Men have a much better time
of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they
die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken |
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