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Government Funny Quotes




Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan
Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
-- Bill Maher
Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous substances. Not in Iraq, in Rush Limbaugh's medicine cabinet.
-- Jay Leno
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
-- Milton Berle
Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.
-- Ronald Reagan (During 1980 presidential campaign)
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-- P. J. ORourke
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!
-- Will Rogers
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.
-- Ronald Reagan
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
-- George Deukmejian
Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
-- Walter Walker (quoted in Newspapers, 1981)
The weather is like the government, always in the wrong.
-- Jerome K Jerome
A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George!
-- Dennis Miller
The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare.
-- Daniel Patrick Moynihan (as quoted in NY Times, Mar 2, 1976)
I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
-- Victor Hugo
It may be true that you can't fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country.
-- Will Durant
Nature, our father and mother, gave us all we have got. The state, our elder brother, swipes the lot.
-- Piet Hein
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg
-- Abraham Lincoln
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman
Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
 


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