My father was from Aberdeen,
and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that
belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for
it, post dated of course.
-- Chic Murray |
I spend money with reckless
abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation. I got to thinking, what
the hell, you only live once!
-- Ronnie Shakes |
I quit flying years ago. I
don't want to die with tourists.
-- Billy Bob Thornton |
I'm not afraid to die. I just
don't want to be there when it happens.
-- Woody Allen |
The report of my death was an
exaggeration.
-- Mark Twain
(New York Journal, June 1897) |
The man that runs away lives
to die another day.
-- A. E. Housman
(A Shropshire Lad, 1896) |
If you die in an elevator, be
sure to push the Up button.
-- Sam Levenson |
I don't want to tell you how
much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go,
they go too.
-- Jack Benny |
Death was Nature's way of
telling you to slow down.
-- Terry Pratchett
(Strata, 1981) |
It's funny the way most
people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
-- Jimi Hendrix |
Death is a very dull, dreary
affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
-- Somerset Maugham |
Death is life's way of
telling you you're fired.
-- Proverb |
For three days after death,
hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
-- Johnny Carson |
At my age I do what Mark
Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not
there I carry on as usual.
-- Patrick Moore |
I can't afford to die; I'd
lose too much money.
-- George Burns |
The only completely
consistent people are the dead.
-- Aldous Huxley |
Let us live so that when we
come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
-- Mark Twain |
I am ready to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
-- Winston Churchill |
